“You Got My Back and I Got Yours.”
By Sherri Elliott
Got a hard question to ask you? What does your friend circle look like? The question is hard, because some of us have had of our friends around since we were kids. The lifelong friends are good, because that means they have stood by you most of your life, through the good, bad and the ugly.
We have to be careful, because we have people who slip through the cracks. Sometimes we instantly people from associate to friendship without making it through some serious hurdles before they can be called friend.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of friend is, a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. I think Webster got most of it right, but as we evaluate our friendships we can probably add a little more to that definition, like hey friend you got my back and I got yours. Let’s face it we need people in our corner that take that statement to heart. Not every one of your friends will fit that category, so don’t start asking your friends crazy questions like, hey would you take a bullet for me? Just be able to notice who they are and make sure you reciprocate that same behavior.
People think I am weird because I have lived in Texas for almost 10 years and I can count on 1 hand how many friends I have made. Trust me, I have met tons of people, because I like to get out and network, but I can’t label all the people I meet my friend. That doesn’t make them bad people we just didn’t make the connection, and some of them we made connections on different levels, like strictly business. For example, I met a person at a networking event that I went to by myself and she was by herself, so we connected, she became my networking buddy.
So ladies when I tell you to evaluate your friendships, I don’t mean kick them out of the sand box, because they don’t play well with others, I just simply mean be watchful. You can’t share your dreams with everyone, because everyone’s not going to understand your journey. You want a friend to lean on when times get tough, and not a person that judges your every move. That friend may just be the ear you need to vent and then you can return back to your regularly scheduled program of life. Another thing is a good friend can be that person that you haven’t talk to in months, but when you call her it’s like you just spoke to her the other day.
I see you sitting there thinking she may be right, my friend circle may need some house cleaning. Before you get out the trash bags, think long and hard about this and usually a category of friends will start popping up in your head.
The Toxic friend: This person basically stays negative all the time, good thoughts or words never come out of their mouth. Usually when you get off the phone with them or leave them you feel empty like your soul wasn’t replenished with goodness. We can’t afford to be let down or receive more negative energy, because we have day to day struggles and need to be inspired and motivated. What do you do with this toxic friend? Give this person less of your time and when you do make time for them, make sure you feed the conversation with positive thoughts and love. You never know, it might change their whole outlook on life.
The High Maintenance Friend: I have to add this friend to the list, because I have experienced this too many times. I had a friend that if I didn’t jump to the beat of her drum she would be mad at me at the drop of hat and stay mad for days, weeks and sometimes years. They’re labeled high maintenance, because you have to be on watch 24/7 with them, because you never know when the anger will strike. I can barely maintain my everyday life and trying to add an anger schedule would be too much. These are the kind of friends that make me sad, because life is too short for you to absorb their anger into your life.
The Frenemy: I am scared of this type of friend, because they can be very dangerous. You always have to be on guard with a frenemy, you never know what their agenda is, one day friend and the next day the enemy. To you my sisters I just want you to be cautious of how you decide to keep this person in your friend circle or let them go.
Facebook Friends: When I started Facebook a couple of years ago I had 40 people I was connected to and 90% was my family, today I have a 195 people. Where did all the Facebook friends come from? I don’t want to step on the social media toes, because it’s how we all got connected, but be careful what your sharing and who your sharing it with. That’s all I have to say about that.
All I am saying ladies is that your friend circle should be sacred and you have to be cautious who you let inside. Surround yourself with love, joy and peace.
Love you ladies……
“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.”