How many times do you take things personal? Whether it’s someone who has said something to you or done something that you may feel like it’s a personal attack against you? Many of us have done this and it’s not fun because what usually follows is self-sabotage or the negative inner chatter.
Here are a few Shift~Align~Transform Techniques to assist you in situations where you may be having a knee-jerk reaction (emotional response):
Evaluate the importance of the relationship and what it means to you. Process these questions: How heavily invested are you in this individual? Are you spending more of the time unhappy in this relationship or happy? Do you feel like you walk on eggshells around this person and always need to be agreeable to keep the peace? Do you feel like you need this person’s approval?
Shift your perspective, putting yourself in their shoes and/or other perspectives.Try to understand what the other person is feeling/thinking/trying to convey to you. Is this their personality and the way they may interact with other people and not just you? Is their usual way to communicate normally to be negative, to be critical, to insult, to blame or shame? They may just have issues with relationships in general, and honestly, has NOTHING to do with you. (As I stated in MY MESSAGE TODAY, that it’s NEVER about you) I do believe with healthy boundaries, it can solve issues with the person. Set them for yourself.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Allow yourself to be in observation mode and don’t make assumptions about their response that seems directed at you. It’s not about you, but rather about them and their own perceptions projected onto you. Ask yourself, what is it that they are saying or doing that is making you feel attacked or vulnerable? When you understand your triggers or sensitive areas, then you can prepare yourself before you outwardly react.
Create a sacred space between yourself and your reactions/responses. Your initial response is usually to react emotionally through your emotional body. If possible give yourself some time and space to rein in your emotions and observe what’s really happening before you respond. Many times, if you respond emotionally, you will regret your response. When you create a healthy sacred space around yourself and the other person you can peel out of the emotions linked with the other person and better chance of boundaries being crossed.
Learn to trust and lean on yourself. The more you trust yourself the less you will need from others and can gain your own personal power back. Trust yourself more than anyone else, this is a game-changer.
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